An Apple A Day Keeps Potter At Bay
by Auriela
Summary: Just a little oneshot. Lily's hungry. James offers her an apple. Maybe taking him up on his proposal wasn't the best idea she's ever had...


**A/N**: I had an extra long day today after a couple of weeks of flat-out exams and I decided to celebrate by writing the fluffiest James and Lily story to come into my head at that moment. It's dedicated to the one and only _embracing_, who will eat every single apple bought from the grocer's in a day flat, and would always take an apple if it was on offer. Especially if it was being offered by James Potter.

**Disclaimer**: I think that if I were J.K. Rowling I wouldn't be writing silly little fics about apples, I'd be jetting over to France for a summer in Paris. So I'm glad that's settled. On we go to…

An Apple A Day Keeps Potter At Bay 

'I'm hungry,' I complain to Alice as we walk across the grounds near the Great Lake. James Potter, always behind me at my beck and call, immediately comes to my rescue.

'Well, Lily my love, I've got an apple if you felt you needed one.'

I shake my head. 'Firstly, Potter, you are way too obsessed with being a knight in shining armour to my damsel in distress. And secondly, there is no way am I taking any food from you.'

'Come on, take a look at this.' He produces a shiny apple from his robe pocket and Sirius, who I have always tried to spend as little time with as possible because he voluntarily made James Potter his best friend, leans over to me, nodding his head sincerely.

'That apple is one of the best-looking apples I have seen in my entire life. I'd take up on the chance, Lily.'

I roll my eyes. 'If you're so eager about the bloody apple, why don't you eat it, Black?'

He turns up his hands in a gesture of peace. 'I'm not hungry. But if I were, I would totally yank that big, juicy red apple from Prongs' large, manly hands and eat it as fast as I could.'

'Well, unfortunately for Potter's large manly hands, I am not going to be yanking anything from them any time soon.'

James clutches his chest, faking being in dreadful pain. 'That hurt, Evans. The thought of these hands never being yanked out of yours is hard for me to bear, but still, I am resilient, I can get over this pain!'

'Oh, sod off, Potter.'

'I know you're hungry, Lily. Just eat the damned apple and then we can all get back to listening to Alice describe her breathtaking holiday with Frank.'

Alice just laughs and pokes out her tongue at James. 'You don't have to listen if you don't want to,' she says pointedly.

'Ah, but _I_ like listening to your escapades,' Sirius says, throwing an arm over her shoulder. 'And I know that Lily does too, so really, Evans, for the good of Hogwarts you'd be best to eat that apple now.'

I look back to the apple that James is now waving in front of my face. My stomach is rumbling and although I don't want to admit it, I have to agree with Sirius…It does happen to be one of the best-looking apples I've ever seen.

I grab it off James and he grins happily.

'Knew you'd save mankind, Lily,' Sirius says, clapping me on the back.

'Let me know how it is,' James says, and he jumps in front of Alice and I, causing us to stop walking abruptly. He doesn't move, just waits for me to take a bite.

'I know you happen to want to spend the rest of your life with me and everything,' I tell him impatiently, 'but before you do, I think you should probably learn a few tips about a girl's privacy.' I hold up my hand and motion to my pointer finger. 'Number one, it's considered rude to watch a girl eat this closely.'

James just shrugs and runs about ten steps back, almost crashing into a couple of third years by the lake.

'Is this far enough to watch you eat?' he yells.

I shake my head. 'Don't watch me at all, Potter.'

It's his turn to roll his eyes. 'Just eat the apple, Evans.'

'There aren't worms in it, or anything, is there?' I shiver unconsciously at the thought. When I was younger I had taken a huge bite of a green apple, only to find half a worm still wiggling within the apple. The other half happened to be in my mouth. Put me off green apples for life.

He looks shocked. 'Who do you think I am?'

'One of the more evil Marauders,' I tell him.

'Well, sure, that may be true but there is no way that I would ever put a worm in an apple and make you eat it.'

Alice shrugs. 'You put toad spawn down her robes when she's studying. We've come to understand that with you, anything's really possible.'

While they bicker about the mean things James has done to me, I watch the apple carefully. It doesn't move or bite or make any sign at all, really, to make me believe that it is anything other than an apple.

And so, trying not to analyse the situation too hard, I take a bite of the apple.

James immediately stops arguing with Alice and beams at me. 'Congratulations!' he exclaims. 'For the first time in your life, you have willingly trusted your truly. You have taken an apple from this innocent male and actually taken a bite. That, for me, is pure success.'

I give a small giggle at his extravagance but feel woozy and hold my head. 'I'm happy for you, James, but can you tell me why I'm feeling a bit dizzy?'

'The sun,' he replies promptly. 'And you probably haven't drunk enough water today either.'

'Thanks for that, Doc,' I say, still feeling sick.

He grabs my hand and I get a shiver down my spine. Okay, he's definitely done something to the apple, because I have never gotten tingles from James Potter's hands unless I was under a spell.

'Potter, you didn't…' I warn him, my hands shaking.

'Do what?' he asks innocently.

'Do something to the apple!'

'No, of course not,' he replies, but even as he begins to talk I find myself extremely interested in his lips, moving up and down. And then, before I have even realised what's happening, I have launched myself at him and am kissing him so hard and passionately I feel like my head's about to blow off.

The small crowd beside the lake begin the cheer and whistle inappropriately, and if I did not feel like my lips were stuck like magnets to James', I would whip around and give them a what for, along with much prodding of my Head badge. But I am too caught up with Potter's mouth on mine. James brings his hand down to the small of my back, gently pressing my hips into his, and I wonder why I have never thrown myself at him before. I have been missing out my entire life on this absolutely amazing kisser.

But then I start to realise what I'm doing – snogging my mortal enemy. And so, with some sort of inner strength, I force myself away from him and shake my head vigorously.

'What did you do that for?' I yell.

He shrugs. 'I didn't do anything. You were the one that threw yourself at me.'

'But, the apple!' I demand. 'You put something in…'

But before I can finish what I'm saying I am back to my initial position, hands cupping his face as my mouth moves against his. I have no idea what is going on and I'm not too sure I want to know, but at the moment I can't really concentrate, James Potter is _that_ good a kisser.

As my hands unconsciously come to rest on his chest, I come back to my senses and push him away with all my might. He stumbles and lets go of my waist and the fog in my head clears.

'You did put something in it, Potter!' I snarl, walking closer to him. He goes to put his hand on my arm but I jerk away. 'Don't even think about it, Potter!' I cry dangerously. 'You've put some sort of potion in there that makes me want to snog you every single time you touch me!'

He looks defeated, and I know that I'm right. I narrow my eyes and whip my wand out of my pocket, pointing it towards James. When Sirius sees this particular piece of wood he leaps in front of his friend, his arms spread out to protect the dark-haired guy looking at me in real fear.

'No, calm down, Lily!' he orders. 'Prongs here can explain.'

'I think I can explain for him,' I snarl. 'He's a sex-obsessed Head and wanted to see what it was like to kiss the one girl who had never willingly given into his demands.'

Sirius cocks his head to one side. 'Close. But no. Prongs here has been wanting to go out with you for a very long time. Isn't that right, James.'

Behind him, James nods earnestly.

'See, Lily? But you always turned him away. Now, he was getting sick of the cold shoulder, like any guy who has a serious case of unrequited love. And so I decided to help him. So we got the potion and put it in this beautiful apple here and wallah! You two were snogging out in the open.'

'Do you want this shoved into your eye, Sirius?' I ask. 'Because that's where it's going to go very soon.'

'Hang on,' Alice says timidly. 'Can I just ask why this apple has a little 'p' written on one side of the core?'

Sirius waves away her question with his hand. 'We wanted to remember the side that the potion was put into.'

Alice begins to laugh. 'Um, Lily, hate to tell you this, but I don't think that you were under a spell.'

I almost drop my wand in shock. 'What do you mean?'

'Your bite is on the other side to this little 'p'. You ate the side without the potion in it.'

I stare at her as her grin widens, and then turn to face James and Sirius, holding my wand to their faces.

'You can't hurt us now,' Sirius reasons. 'That's abuse.'

'It wouldn't be entirely unprovoked,' I tell him angrily.

James shrugs. 'I don't think we have to argue about this now. There's only one thing that matters, and that's the fact that you snogged me twice without Padfoot here or me having to apply force. You know what they say about an apple a day…'

'It's an apple a day keeps the doctor away, you harebrained scum!'

James grins at Sirius. 'Nah, I think in this case it's an apple a day keeps Potter at bay!'

'Yeah, because I will hex you into oblivion if you ever try to pull a stunt like that again!'

'_You_ snogged me, Evans. I'm just merely wondering if there's anything, anything at all, that you want to tell me.'

I nod my head. 'Yes, there is, actually, James.' I take a deep breath, and, even though I know it's completely immature, start to shriek at him. 'You happen to be the biggest toerag scum sodding immature brat turnip-brained idiot I have ever met in my entire life. Keep away from me!'

And with that, I stalk away, wishing that I could get the feel of his lips on mine out of my head.

**A/N**: Okay, silly and completely immature, I know, but I can't help it. I hope you enjoyed it and reviews would be greatly appreciated!


End file.
